Why releasing what no longer serves you may be the most powerful act of self-care. Part of the “Wellness Matters” blog series.
We live in a culture that rewards us for doing more: committing to more, consuming more, becoming more. The more “balls we have in the air,” the more competent and successful we are perceived to be.
In some areas of life, such as our careers, continuously adding responsibilities can indeed help us succeed. At least for a while.
The problem arises when we take on or hold onto more than what is good for us. What once brought joy can begin to feel heavy and overwhelming. Over time, unchecked stress can lead to both dis-ease and disease. Ironically, in our efforts to manage the overload, we often turn to the same strategy that created it: doing more. We plan more, organize more, and even add more “wellness” strategies to our already full plates.
Yet sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do isn’t to add something new, it’s to let something go.
The Science of Letting Go
Science affirms what ancient wisdom traditions have long taught: Letting go is good for us. When we chronically hold onto something — whether it’s a draining relationship, an outdated commitment, resentment, or a way of being that no longer serves us — our nervous systems remain locked in fight-or-flight mode. To restore balance and homeostasis, we must learn to release.
The same is true even when what we’re holding onto appears “good.” We might love our relationships, jobs, volunteer work, friendships, and hobbies. But trying to give 100 percent of ourselves to all of them, all at once, can exhaust even the healthiest among us. Sometimes it’s not what we’re doing that’s the problem. It’s the sheer volume of it.
Many mind-body practices are built around the principle of release: deep breathing, mindfulness, visualization, and journaling.
Consider the breath.
You only get one at a time. To take in the next life-sustaining breath, you must release the last one. When we exhale, we trust that there will be another inhale waiting for us. Breathing, in this way, becomes a gentle teacher, reminding us that letting go is a natural and necessary rhythm of life, and that we will have exactly what we need, not more and not less.
Try It: A Letting Go Practice
The following reflection questions can help you begin the process of letting go. Approach them with curiosity, not criticism.
- What in your life no longer serves your highest good?
- Is there a relationship, habit, emotional pattern, or commitment that drains you more than it nourishes you?
- Are you consuming information or news that keeps your system in stress mode?
Letting go doesn’t always mean ending something permanently. Sometimes it simply means loosening your grip, changing your relationship to it, or taking a pause.
Here’s a simple weekly challenge:
Remove one stress-inducing element from your life this week and observe how you feel.
You might try one of the following:
- Unsubscribe from negative news or social media for a few days.
- Say “no” to one extra commitment.
- Set down a recurring worry through visualization. Imagine placing it in a river and watching it float away.
- Release an emotional state by acknowledging it, breathing into it, and letting it soften.
Once you’ve removed the stress-inducing element, take a moment to notice the difference: the space, the quiet, the sense of calm. This act of awareness helps your nervous system recognize the shift and begin to reset.
The Takeaway: Letting Go Is Your Hidden Key
Letting go is one of the hidden keys to managing stress. It reminds us that wellness isn’t built only through effort, but also through ease. When we release what no longer serves us, we create space for what does — peace, clarity, and joy.
This article is part of “Wellness Matters,” a blog series created to explore health and wellness issues and share evidence-based tools you can use to strengthen your well-being.
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About the Author
Michelle Pearce, PhD, is professor and director of the Integrative Health and Wellness certificate program at the University of Maryland School of Graduate Studies.
Dr. Pearce is a clinical psychologist who researches the relationship between religion/spirituality, coping, and health, as well as the integration of spirituality into the practice of psychotherapy. Her areas of clinical expertise include cognitive behavioral therapy, mind-body stress reduction methods, existential issues, and behavioral medicine to address the intersection of mental and physical illness. Read her full biography.